Sunday, May 30, 2004

the Howe is BACK


Let the mutual defunkification begin!

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Yeah so work was good. 9 hours of watching someone read through papers. Basically I learned that the cameras are always watching me and I'm not allowed to say anything about anyone or anything to anybody. I can't even shake hands inside the casino. Or date my supervisor, who is super hot. Two more paid days of this to go!
First day of work consisting of: Orientation day #1 of 3.

blech

Monday, May 24, 2004

someone just hit my site with the search "nude beech". ahaha

sorry, not going to happen

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Here's a portion of something I wrote to someone some time.


......i've also had a head x-ray, two cat scans, and an ultrasound on my neck. i've had a brick dropped on my head (i swear). i've had a couple concussions. i was on antidepressants to treat migraine headaches (didn't work). i've severed my two last fingers on my left hand down to the bone, everything you can think of in them was cut by a lawnmower when i worked at zellers as as stockboy in highschool. i play guitar.


i graduated in chemistry from waterloo and have no desire to pursue that field. i'm a good writer and photographer, artistic, literate and stylish (?), but i majored in science. i feel pursuing an artistic career is selfish, but i want to. chiropractors are quacks. i love simpsons so much and the fact that you use quotes from it. i also applied for a job at walmart for the photo shop but didn't get it. hahaha. love chili and pitas, and who doesn't like pizza. i've eaten chili for every meal of the day for a week and a half straight, including breakfast.

that's nice that you love the cock, the current joke at my expense is that *I* love the cock, and one time at a party my friends were throwing a keggar and people who paid got humourous messages written on their hands in permanent black magic marker. mine was 'i heart penis'. with heart written out with letters. Quote: "From now on we'll be spelling EVERYTHING with letters." beneath that was written in pen later on in the night was 'no i do NOT'. up my arm was written, again later, in black marker, 'yes i do, more than anything in the world'. i don't love the cock. some guy at this patiobar, arizonas in thorold wears an 'i heart vagina' tshirt every time. the heart is a picture this time, not spelled out.

my nickname with my group of friends in guelph is 'ladiesman', but it couldn't be further from the truth; i've never asked out a girl and i'm too afraid to hit on someone/ask them out. i've dated, just never initiated the relationship, just sorta went along with it. therefore i never get what i want. i'm a huge chicken. i also like to write very long emails/messages, and this is probably the longest message you've recieved containing more than you ever wanted to know. I also only/mainly have female friends (except the guelph boys), which my one friend refers to as my 'harem'. some of the girls in that group want to date me and have asked me out but they couldn't be more wrong for me so i said no. i always date the wrong girls. i attract the wrong and crazy ones and can't seem to find a good one, right for me. i have (my family has) two dogs and two cats. i don't really like cats, at all.

music is most important in my life. i sometimes have insomnia (it's 5am). i wrote a long message to someone else like this and i think i freaked her out and she stopped talking to me. so i asked you if i freaked you out. someone told me i was intimidating. after you called me "rad", some other girl called me rad like the next day and i laughed my ass off. she didn't get it.

i have a weblog website but can't really think of anything to post. i usually use flawless grammar, spelling and punctuation and i don't know why. i don't know why i'm not now. i can't believe you spelled "hawt" like that. writing like this is fun. are your eyes sore? don't you hate when people ask you questions in emails as if they were talking to you and you have no real way of replying to it after the fact? and don't you also love how you can write an email to someone and they can't interrupt you or stop you from going on and on and on and on so you can pretty much say whatever you want and they just have to read it. i do. does this have a word limit?

i would like challenge you to a simpsons quote competition, with no internet cheating. i should stop.
and you just don't get it

Thursday, May 13, 2004

"this was for a girl i had a big time crush on, now i'm just crushed, bigtime"
This song, mad world (tears for fears cover, donnie darko), makes me want to cry. I love it.

"all around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn our faces
bright and early for their daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere
there tears are filling up their glasses, no expression, no expression
hide my head i wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow

and i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had, i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very very mad world...

children waiting for the day they feel good, happy birthday, happy birthday
and i feel the way that every child should, sit and listen, sit and listen
went to school and I was very nervous, no one knew me, no one knew me
hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson, look right through me, look right through me

and i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda, sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i'd ever had, i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very very mad world,...mad world..."

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

wow, ok the sort of cheesiness (unless it's totally 100% true) of this kid's question to Trent Reznor is totally offset by his amazing reply. And people wonder why I love Trent Reznor so much....you all should too (love him):

Question to Trent:
"i just want to let you know that you are personally responsible for preventing me from committing suicide. when i started high school, i bought the fragile unfamiliar with most of your previous work. i was feeling really really shitty with situations concerning my mother, situations in high school, peers, and whatnot. anyways, buying the fragile, i slowly, but surely began to realise the message you portrayed in this album. after repeated listening, the title track still stands up to me as a message of hope, as a way to escape everything that seems to destroy my psyche and bring me down. i was very close to ending my life prematurely, but listening to the fragile made me realise that there is beauty in the pains of life and hope is in everything that life can give you, no matter how torrid it may seem. thank you, trent reznor, if i hadn't bought the fragile, i wouldn't be around to e-mail this to you"

Response from Trent: (fucking amazing)
"thank you for your kind words, but give yourself the credit for getting through whatever it was you were going through. it seems to me that there are some people who treat music as something that plays in the background occasionally, and there are some -- probably anyone who's reading this -- that music has a much more important role. music is the soundtrack to every aspect of my life -- songs vividly remind me of places/events/feelings/people. music has been my best friend and made me feel connected when i've been at my loneliest. it's weird and great to find myself in a position where music i've made has touched some of you. keep your shit together!"

Sunday, May 09, 2004

ever get a pen that makes you want to write? i know it sounds weird......but i found one. i wrote some stuff too, good stuff...but it's not for you.

Saturday, May 08, 2004

Why am I the biggest fucking chicken in the world? I have no idea. Couple examples, this past friday and the friday before. Starting with the furthest friday first. This really cute girl keeps looking at me allllllllll night, smiling making eye contact, circling like vultures with her wing-girl friend. So I just sit and watch and sit and watch. Keep in mind that this girl is probably as close to my """""perfect match""""" as you can get. yes i used excessive quotes because there is no such thing as a perfect match. and i'm in a bad mood so i'm gonna stop using proper grammar and punctuation and spelling and. suckers. yeah so then FINALLY she circles around for like one last time and does this, tell me if this is a tiny teensy weensy little signal.....(and for everyone i've told this story to like a hundred times and you laughed at me a hundred and one times already, bear with me)......yeah so the girl circles around again, walks by me and looks right in my eye, stops, says hi, flashes a big smile, then walks away while looking back at me and firmly brushing along my arms as long as she can.......I don't remember what i said, it was probably something like high-pitched "hhhHIIIi..." and then fishy face gaping mouth 'uh..uhh....'...followed by nothing, then fishy face some more, and then more nothing. Then she dissapeared, and the next time I saw her was a picture of her on the arizona's website...smiling sweetly as if to rub it in my face. Then some stuff like that happened last night (the more recent friday) at arizonas again, but the story isn't nearly as interesting so i am (ABORT abort!) stopping with the writing.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

There should be a mathematical relationship describing the tendency of someone to spend a great deal of time online as a function of whether the person is dating someone or not. I notice I have more online "friends" that talk to me almost all day when they're single and then not at all when some new flame comes into their life and fires them up. I guess people use the internet as a way of connecting to people when they have not much else to do. This is why I don't rely too heavily on any online conversations I have with people because they're so different than real life. It just kind of makes me mad because I try to be the same online all the time and a lot of people put on different faces depending on what's going on in their life or depending on what sort of image they're trying to convey. I really hate msn and other online chatting things so much, but I still can't do without it since so many people I would not be able to have contact with if it weren't for the internet. I guess it's my iron lung in a way. Something you absolutely despise but, because of situational circumstances, you have to keep it around and it sort of keeps you going. Patients on an iron lung hate it because it confines them to a room, limits what they can do and figuratively and literally weighs them down, but if it weren't for that enormously complex breathing apparatus they'd be dead. Same with radiohead's song my Iron Lung, about their other song Creep. Look into it.

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