Friday, August 29, 2003

Now it's time to relay the tale of Chinnegan O'Reilly, Superhero Extraordinaire, and his Nemesis, the Evil NoChin a.k.a. Freddy Flatface.

Two young brothers, both endowed with amazingly jutting chins of great power grew up in rural Chinsland (much like our Scotland) once upon a time. Chinnegan and Chinkenzie O'Reilly were two very special boys indeed. Although they were unaware of the great extent of the power contained within their chiselled jaw line bone structures, they both knew they were a cut above the other boys.

Each time either of the boys had a dentist appointment, their dentist would be cast across the room in a chinny frenzy of jutting energy whenever he tried to get close to their amazing chins to examine their teeth. At a young age, each of the boys had the gruff stubble of a strapping middle age Scotsman that grew back vigorously no matter how often mother shaved their faces.

Each of the boys knew they were designed for a higher purpose, and their lives were both on the path towards greatness until one rueful day:

The boys were playing in the hospital, scaring people with their jutting chins, as all young boys do, when the unexpected happened. Chinkenzie was captured by an evil plastic surgeon who had been studying and stalking the O'Reilly twins for quite some time. See, the Evil Plastic Surgeon was born without a chin and wanted to harness the great power for himself by any means possible. He sensed that Chinkenzie was not quite as strong as his 8-minute-older brother Chinnegan, and decided to prey on the weak. He took Chinkenzie to his evil plastic surgery lair and strapped him into his evil plastic surgeon's chair. The Evil Surgeon knew about the great power contained within the jaw and wore a full bombsquad outfit with a welders mask as he tried to operate. He used his special evil powers of plastic surgery, which all plastic surgeons possess, and painstakingly began removing the complete chin from a groggily drugged Chinkenzie. His brother, Chinnegan stood by the door and watched with a paralyzing horror at the inhumane operation taking place. He was unable to move or speak when he saw Chinkenzie's eyes shift slightly out of their dazed drug-induced gaze to lock onto Chinnegan's. Chinkenzie mustered up as much strength as he could to use the special form of mental telepathy that both boys possessed: Chinepathy. Using what was left of his chin, Chinkenzie sent mental chin messages to Chinnegan begging and pleading for him to save his poor brother until it was too late. He kept repeating "Save me Chinnegan! Save me Chinnegan! Use your mighty chin to smite the evil Plastic Surgeon and SAVE ME CHINNEGAN!!!" Chinnegan could not, however, save his younger brother and Chinkenzie's chin and only source of power was removed.

At school, poor Chinkenzie was mocked and made fun of incessantly every day of his life for having no chin. The kids at school gave him the unfortunate nickname of Freddy Flatface, and he forever lost his old moniker of Chinkenzie O'Reilly.

Much time passed since that terrible, terrible day and no one ever heard from the Evil Plastic Surgeon again. Chinnegan knew better; he knew the surgeon was biding his time perfecting his stolen chin. Slowly building more and more power secretly and quietly to one day defeat Chinnegan and take over the world.

Freddy Flatface went into hiding, ashamed of his horrid disfigurement; he was never to be seen again. As the years past the hate and resentment for his brother was continuously welling up inside of Freddy. He could sense his chin out there, somewhere. The chin was calling to Freddy Flatface to come home, using whatever Chinepathy it had left. Day in and day out, calling for Freddy. Calling him home, begging Freddy to find the little chin so they can be reunited. It wasn't long before Freddy Flatface went utterly and completely insane. A new, maniacal loathing grew within Freddy. This unbridled desire to find and destroy his brother and steal his mighty chin. Once he had his brother's chin, the Evil Plastic Surgeon, where ever he was, would soon be brought down and all the chiniful power in the world would be Freddy's and Freddy's alone to yield!!

Can Chinnegan O'Reilly harness and control his chinning? Can he become one with the power of his chin, superjut, defend himself against his troubled brother and take down the Evil Plastic Surgeon in order to save the entire planet?! Stay tuned...


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