Monday, December 06, 2004

Sometimes everything falls apart.

Sometimes everything falls into place.

Sometimes you can disappear without really knowing it.

Sometimes you feel everyone staring at you and your cheeks hot, flushed and red and you can’t imagine the moment ever coming to an end.

Sometimes things happen slowly, smoothly and gradually.

Sometimes they happen in a rocky, rushed blur that you don’t have a blink of your mind’s eye to react, unfortunately realising this fact after you're already too far in.

Sometimes you're never really certain of anything but still comforted by the fact that things will work out.

Sometimes it takes forever and a day to be even slightly close to any sort of certainty, yet you’re still shrouded and consumed with fear.

Sometimes everything just clicks with a certain someone and it takes something like twenty seven seconds to be certain about this somewhat silly someone beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt.

Sometimes this certain silly someone is totally amazing in every way imaginable and completely redefines everything you ever thought you knew about yourself, everyone you know, and the entire world around you.

Sometimes it is the greatest thing that's ever happened.

Sometimes you wish you could just make everything better, make everything perfect; make them never worry again, but no matter how hard you try, you know you can’t.

Sometimes you get the feeling that everything will be just fine and you’ll never have to worry again, and sometimes that makes you feel guilty.

Sometimes you get so happy and giddy you talk a mile a minute, sometimes hovering on the borderline of being coherent and making sense and people sometimes have to struggle to keep up and make some sort heads or tails of what you're saying but they secretly love the spirited conversation and get excited from just talking to you as everyone gets slightly silly together.

Sometimes you feel so great that you feel like you’re going to explode.

Sometimes you want to keep these feelings all to yourself as though they’re a small special little secret between you and that someone special and especially silly. Some secret that you don't want to share with anyone else so it doesn't escape from the lips of you two to get mainstreamed and cheapened.

Sometimes you make things a little better so sometimes you can have perfect moments together in which sometimes they worry a little less.

Sometimes they start to feel things might be fine after all and sometimes they can forget about the bad things around them, suspending all disbelief and just live in the moments of pure joy.

Sometimes their sorry-filled sulking sad and somber expressions slip away and smiles suddenly show up on their faces.

Sometimes the sometimes' start changing from “sometimes” to "all the time”

Sometimes everything just clicks and falls into place like a perfectly and magically-aligned puzzle constructed from millions of intricate, individual pieces causing you to sometimes think you should somehow disappear completely with your certain silly someone, somewhere, anywhere.

Sometimes you never want anyone else to ever discover the secret to your successful happiness saving it all to yourself like you’ve discovered the long, sought-after fountain of youth; sometimes making you feel you simply cannot contain yourself; sometimes making you want to scream and shout it to the entire city, and sometimes convincing you that sometimes anything's possible making you feel a sweet and sickeningly, yet seductively sweet, anticipation deep down in the pit of your stomach that sometimes makes you feel as though you’re going absolutely insane but you wouldn’t trade it any of it for the world and sometimes…


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This requires urgent medical help

6 Dec 2004, 05:20:00  
Blogger Jesse said...

I'll give ya some urgent medical help! WINK ;)

6 Dec 2004, 05:54:00  
Blogger Penny said...

Sounds like what some mistake for manic, but is just real. And, since you have the gift.. we can relate all too well.. and sometimes, that means that anonymous people believe that you are relating with the only parts of themselves they may be in touch with.. the negative. Life is one hell of an interesting story.. Please keep adding your pages, I want to keep reading the Jesse and TG series.

29 Dec 2004, 17:17:00  

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