...like you're tied to the grill of a truck or a bus or one of those fucking maglev superconducting super trains hurtling away at 200 mph or whatever it is in km/h and your hair is blowing back almost ripping out of your scalp and bugs are hitting the back of your throat and your skin is stretching back and mouth gaping open at impossible ovals like those NASA G force simulator things that the astronauts use and sticks and dirt and rocks are cutting your face gashing your forehead slicing your neck and your eyes are watering and bleeding from their sockets and eventually you get the ropes off and try to smash the front windshield of whatever the hell you're tied to and finally you do but not without slicing open your forearm down to the elbow and spurting and gushing blood everywhere and the second you move towards the open and now broken windshield you are SUCKED inside as though it were some sort of vacuum and violently thrown against the back wall of the cockpit, if that vehicle even has a cockpit, breaking most of your ribs, shattering your left elbow and possibly pulling a hamstring or two. And as you sit there against the wall, spitting out bugs and bark and bile from throwing up in your mouth and bits of teeth that you bit down too hard on and broke and as you're sitting in this pile of your own blood and what’s that, urine? and as bits of fat are coming out of your forearm you start to laugh hysterically because even though you might possibly die from blood loss you managed to cheat death for the time being and you're laughing maniacally anyway showing a sticky smile of bugs and dirt and teeth and mostly blood. You're overwhelmed with joy (you're not quite dead) and sadness (you will most likely lose your arm and will need the blood drained out of your lungs) and so many more emotions that you don't know what to do with it all or how to handle it so you just had to burst out laughing, spraying blood from your broken teeth and tongue you almost bit off. Then you're all cleaned up, that possibly improbable, probably impossible scenario never happened and you are perfectly fit and in fine physical condition and dressed in your best dinner jacket with a lovely lady at your side attending an opera or play or some sort or musical...or..show, an orchestra, but not with as many band members as a real orchestra maybe just like a 12 piece philharmonic type deal that plays the most beautiful rendition of Beethoven's Ode To Joy you have ever heard in your life and being the art-savvy kind of person you are, who attends many galleries and museums and less-than-stellar operas or orchestras featuring mediocre renditions of the classics, including Ode to Joy, you know a good reproduction when you hear one.

And one is like reading Eggers and one is like reading Ballard.