Into the light

Stare a while, till everything begins to melt

‘Till your visual field is wrought with hallucinatory imagery

And the world your eyes see pulsates harmoniously in sync with your heart

Each beat causing the black fringes of unconsciousness in your field of vision to become increasingly larger and darker, creating a tunnel effect

When you shake your head alertly, your brain feels as though it's two sizes too small and rattling around inside your skull, setting off destructive storms of searing, white-hot painful flashes of lightning

As your mind wanders on another tangent, a shocks of electricity rip through your thoughts, exploding them into a million fragments and the flashbulb memory you thought you just had slowly fades away like the after-image you get when you stare at the sun, then close your eyes

You experience everything in slow motion with the volume turned down; your movements, your thoughts, your emotions, your life. Your face always looks sullen, depressed or downcast. You talk quietly because loud noises only make it worse.

Sleep would be your one and only chance of escape, but this torment makes it impossible to relax and drift away. It makes no difference if you’re sitting, standing or lying down—the pain is constant.

Every blink feels like dull ice picks piercing your eyes, drilling your temples, and clawing back of your neck making it nearly impossible to turn your head or even swallow

Soon the nosebleeds will start, hand tremors, chills, fainting, vomiting, cold sweats. You laugh at the oxymoronic term ‘painkiller’, out of breath.

Maybe you’ll get lucky; a collapse to your knees then a loss of touch with reality; a reprieve from the pain in unconscious bliss: a blackout

Away from the light

Comments

Anonymous said…
jb,
are you going to drill a hole in your skull and let the demons out?!

nothing beats a home-made trephination...just so you know.

p.s. i miss you
S devil said…
Is this how it feels for you to have a migraine? I have migraines but not to this extent :(

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