Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sometimes if I have writer's block I jot down random words or ideas and try to make something out of it. Below I've illustrated my thought process when creating a piece in this fashion. Most times I sit down and write a story or poem flat out with little forethought, then edit it afterwards.

1. -Rough Draft, Words/Thoughts

[time sleep fire waiting buried hidden forgotten left knowing always temptation awakened restrained dream honestly i need protecting and you suddenly are always beside me feeling my eyes open up once believed if only i you're the one i never want to lose find you you'll be gone i've been looking for so long without you pushed you away i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry scream lack emotion beauty thank you lost stay up all night don't leave undiscovered eyes inspiration say goodbye keep breathing heart beating kept you warm day we met fate laugh stay close]

2. -Organised Draft, Somewhat Coherent Thoughts

[i've been looking for so long waiting day we met fate time laugh stay up all night heart beating kept you warm inspiration sleep scream don't leave left say goodbye keep breathing i once believed if only i pushed you away you'll be gone lack emotion hidden forgotten buried i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry lost without you honestly i need protecting and suddenly you are always beside me awakened restrained temptation always knowing fire dream feeling my eyes open up beauty undiscovered eyes inspiration you're the one i never want to lose stay close thank you]

3. -Final Draft (after a few edits)

Ever since I can remember I've been looking for something like this for so long, waiting until the day we met, not knowing in which time or place fate would bring us together. My thoughts, problems and worries dissolve all around me while we're together, while we spend each inspired minute talking and laughing, while we stay up holding each other as the hours of the night pass on to the morning. The touch of our skin keeping us warm while the synchronous beating of our hearts lulls us into a deep, dream-filled sleep. Startled awake with blinding lights, our too-good-to-be-true dream started to become a harsh reality and faster than it began, it was being torn away. Neither of us said a word or showed any emotions but were both screaming in our heads 'Please don't leave me!' as we left each other without kissing, without hugging, without looking back and without saying goodbye. Keep breathing. Just keep breathing. Breathe. Then forget.

Take it all and turn back time, put it all out of your mind. Push it away and bury it deep, somewhere in the recesses of your mind out from which it cannot seep. Forget your feelings and kill your emotions until everything's gone. Make it easier to try to forget and move on.

I'm sorry. I'm lost without you and honestly, I need protecting and you suddenly...

Suddenly we're brought back together after what seemed like an eternity had passed. We kept our distance using what little restraint we had left, despite how great the temptation was. The feelings and emotions built up between us like an over-inflated balloon, ready to burst, regardless of how hard we tried to resist. The slightest brush of one against the other, the faint smell of her perfume as she walked by, or a knowing look between us from across the table was all it took to set things in motion and the fires burning again. But our emotions remained just barely balanced and under control; one slight misstep would cause multiple worlds to collide all around us, destroying each other in an explosion more fantastic than a star going supernova.

When the dust had finally settled and there was room to breathe, the world to us had once again become like a walking dream except this time all that once was seemingly too good to be true, too hard to believe was becoming an unquestionable reality. What I hadn't seen before became crystal clear to me in her beautiful sparkling eyes; the undiscovered emotion and passion of which I've always dreamed and which had always inspired me, that I'd been longing for since I first knew what it was like to feel anything, was here in front of me, captured in these eyes looking deeply into mine.

Don't leave me. Stay close, she says.

I wouldn't give this up for the world, she's the one I never ever want to lose. I'm so overwhelmed by everything that I can hardly think of anything to say except:

Thank you, as I kiss her forehead.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's just very you started it..and how you continued with it.

i personally like your writing, whether it's about yourself and personal experiences...or just a story you came up with...

1 Sep 2008, 22:00:00  
Blogger Jesse said...

for this particular post, i didn't really have a story in mind when i started out, i just had a jumble of words in my head. actually, i couldn't think of anything and then i heard the odd word from the tv or from a song or remembered something from a book i read and just wrote down any random word or few words that came to mind in the first section, then in the second section i tried to organise it into some sort of orderly fashion, then i used the words to write something that was probably stuck in my head but just needed a little inspiration to come out, using the keywords to just get my fingers moving. that's usually what happens most times is that i just need to randomly WRITE and suddenly something coherent forms around what i'm typing almost by itself. a lot of times i'll start out thinking i want to write about something specific and have a plan but by the end, things never turn out the way i planned, much like things in your life -- you can always paint a pretty picture in your head and have things planned out but once you get there, pass through it and get by it, things never happen the way you expected or had planned at all.

5 Sep 2008, 22:12:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said... are never really quite sure what life has in store for's never really what you expect.

so why try and paint a pretty picture, when you know it's not going to work out your way in the end anyways?

11 Sep 2008, 18:39:00  
Blogger Jesse said...

Well, it's not that it won't work out 'my way' in the end anyway, as if it would work out negatively, it's just that things usually work out differently than you expect them to if. I've learned that if I have a set of ideals stuck in my head, I'm not going to get very far because someone or something will come along and totally redefine everything I thought that I wanted and every idea that I had in my head and maybe that redefinition is the greatest thing to ever happen, or just a new way to look at things. I know now it's best to just go into things with an open mind and see where it takes you without being afraid of anything, or else you may potentially miss out on the best things in life. Luckily I've learned that lesson and have found the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my life, which helps to write fictional stories such as these =)

11 Sep 2008, 18:49:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well your blogs are very intriguing.

i enjoy reading them.


11 Sep 2008, 22:00:00  
Blogger Jesse said...

you don't have to tell me who exactly you are, but i'm just wondering... do we know each other?

12 Sep 2008, 17:34:00  

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