the sun shines on the snow-covered lawn steady and bright
millions of multi-faceted mirrors reflect its magnificent light
while indoors, the glare still causes you to shield your eyes
yet something about the snow still summons you outside
so you put on your boots, your gloves, and your coat
and head into the cold with a small lump in your throat
once outside, the fresh crisp winter air fills deep in your chest
you stand for a minute, take a really deep breath, and think to yourself, this season's the BEST!

then out of nowhere a flying projectile hits you in the head
leaving your face wet and cold and incredibly red
'YOU BASTARD" you shout at the hooligans in the street
and as you're shaking your fist and yelling, you slip on something with your feet
it's a patch of ice, BLACK ice, the worst KIND of ice, and you fall right on your ass
you start sliding down your sloped driveway incredibly fast
of course on the fall you smack your head and now you're just few bricks short of a full load
it's only after a few minutes you realise you've slid right into the road
no one can blame you for not hearing the snowplow coming, really it's not your fault
seconds later you're covered in a blast of dirty sand snow and salt
after you dig yourself out of a new snowbank... you know, the one now in front of your driveway
not quite in a state of hypothermia but very well on your way
you get up and stumble all sandy and salty to the front of your door
then an epiphany hits you harder than anything else has before:

no, I don't like winter, it's cold and snowy, full of all kinds of suck
yeah i dont care how pretty all the snow is i surely dont give a fuck
the snow's beautiful falling from the sky, yeah when you're by a fireplace nice and warm inside
but outside it frostbites off your fingers then hypothermia's the shit outta you -- that is it's ice-ninja disguise!
and shovelling snow makes me surly, yeah this season's totally balls
i could sure go without winter, no winters at all